Reflections on Life and Love
by Queen of the Jungle
Summary: written when I was about 14 and very melodramatic.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Harry Potter, the divine goddess Rowling does.

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**~Queenie~** Here is a new fic I have written. One-shot, like the others. I thought I'd try my hand at a different style, so this kind of an experiment. I hope you enjoy it.

I gaze out on the gardens, the rich green tapestry, and I think of you. You with your black hair that is forever messy. You with your impossibly brilliant green eyes. You with the legacy of the darkness upon your face, the thin lightning shaped scar. I think of you and whisper your name, "Harry".

I think back to the time, long ago it seems now, when you were my hero. When I worshipped you. When I was too afraid to talk to you. And I think of what a moron I must have seemed to be. 

I remember standing there, in the Chamber of Secrets, with you dripping with the ink of the diary, the blood of the Basilisk mingling with that of your own, and I realise that that was the moment I truly fell in love with you. Not a crush, not puppy love, but real, true, everlasting love. Forever love.

All this reminiscing has me missing you. And I do. Miss you that is. Life is not the same without you, I can barely await your return. When I can kiss you, and hold you. When I can love you, and tell my secrets to you. When you can tell me your secrets, and we can whisper to each other long into the night. When you can set my heart ablaze with a single kiss. I await you. I always will wait for you. We are bound together for life, where one goes, so does the other. We are two parts of a whole. We are love incarnate.

And then I keep remembering. Watching you graduate, thinking that I would never see you again.  Watching you go away, but always coming back. And the pain of missing you grows. But you will be home soon, and we will be together, whole.

I know you feel the same, we have our link. And I share your dreams. No longer dreams of death and torture, but dreams of love and sweetness. Of being with good friends. Of being with me, your lover. I can feel the love and sadness, the sadness of separation, radiating down our bond towards me. And it reassures me. You are still in love. You haven't gone and found yourself another. The feeling puts my insecure thoughts to rest. 

I am getting nostalgic, but that cannot be avoided. I remember our first kiss. Standing in the moonlight, under the Whomping Willow, having discovered that the tree does not attack lovers. I looked up at the clear, cool sky, and I felt I could count the stars.

We fell back onto the blanket, and you proceeded to kiss me all over. I had never been kissed before, but you made the experience wonderful, magical. We sat there most of the night, watching the moon, trying to count the stars. We nearly succeeded, but fell asleep at nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine. We woke up the next morning, in the bright sunlight and we laughed at the folly of trying to count the stars. There is no number to stars, they just are. 

And the sunlight reflected off your brilliant eyes, making them seem full of shards of light. And then you swooped upon me, grabbed me and ran all the way back to the Common Room. With me over your shoulder, kicking and yelling, the entire way. Oh, the embarrassment of being caught in a position like that.

And now I recall the looks, the red hair seeming to get redder as the glares intensified. My brothers were so protective of me. I do believe they threatened you with a list of obscenities a kilometer long if you so much as hurt a single hair on my head. And you nodded and gravely swore that you would kill yourself before you ever even thought of hurting me. And my heart leaped. You would stand up to my brothers. No other boy had been strong enough to do so. But you did. You have always been the one for me.

I can barely wait for you to return, I am empty without you. When you are not with me, I am a shell, devoid of life. We are each other's lives. I love you. You love me. Love can fight through anything.

I look over, and I see the photograph of you and me on our wedding day. The pictures of us barely ever look up from each other, and that is the way it is meant to be.

Our wedding was beautiful. Sirius and Remus were there; my family was there, our friends were present as were Dumbledore and all the staff. The Great Hall had never looked so beautiful. I remember they decorated it all in Gryffindor colours, just for the occasion. Even the candles were crimson and gold. I grin when I remember the ceremony. Ron losing the rings. Hermione looking red-faced as she fished within her bra, coming up with the rings. The cheer that went up that those two had finally opened their eyes and gotten together. The vows. When you promised to be mine forever, and I promised to be yours. The atmosphere simply exuded love from every pore.  

And then when we danced and danced and danced at the banquet.  I had never danced so much in my life. When we cut the cake, and you put a dab of icing on my nose, so I shoved a slice down your pants. The laughs that got, you'd think the Great Hall would collapse. I remember when it came time to toss the bouquet, and then the garter. Hermione caught the bouquet, and Ron the garter. The cheers they got, they would be the next to be married. Their blushes as they denied any engagement.

I am about to weep from loneliness, you are not here. I am so tired. I need you. And then I hear it. My ears are specially perked to the sound. The faint little 'pop' as you Apparate into the living room. And I run to you. You pick me up and twirl me in your arms. And we kiss. You kiss me with fervour and a passion that lets me know you missed me, and I return the passion. 

And now, as it is later, and it is quiet, and you are sleeping. I reflect upon my life. With my hands resting upon my swollen belly, I stroke the children, our son and daughter, inside of me. And I know, that this is life.

~Queenie~ I hope you enjoyed this fic, I know it is very different from my other ones, but I hope it was all right. Please review, I need the ego boost.


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